Great Conversions of Our Time

 

No. 216 My Aunt Mathilda

 

When my Aunt Mathilda

Told us she was going to become a builder

We laughed

And said, “Don’t be daft.”

 

But while we scoffed

She converted her loft.

 

The Good Companions

 

Albert and Fred are watching the TV

“What rubbish,” Albert says. He turns to Fred.

“I said it’s rubbish, Fred. Don’t you agree?

It’s crap, eh Fred? Did you hear what I said?”

Fred’s mouth falls open but he does not speak

He stares at Albert through unblinking eyes.

So Albert shrugs and goes to take a leak.

When he returns Fred notices his flies

Are unzipped – but he doesn’t mention this.

His jaw drops, but again no sound comes out.

“You’re useless,” Albert says, “You really piss

Me off. You just don’t know what life’s about.”

Fred sighs a sigh from deep within his soul,

Then turns and slowly swims around his bowl.

 
 

Standing Up To Be Counted Out

(also known as The Blue Book)

Here We Are Then

(also known as the Red Book)

Songs Sung Sideways

(also known as the Green Book)

Curtains and Other Material

(often referred to as the Yellow Book)

 

by Matthew Harvey

 

Publisher: Dart Valley Press

 

ISBN: N/A

 

Matt Harvey has always been interested in what makes people tick, while others tock and some sit silently and chime on the hour. He has worked extensively with the Socially Awkward, the Emotionally Elusive and the Strangely Quiet. In the late 80s his pioneering work with the Unforthcoming earned hesitant praise from leading lights in the field and his current project – forging links with the preoccupied – has been described as “necessary.”

 

Our Price £11.96 (set of four)

  

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